DRIVING MRS EFFIE

I used to drive my one of our family's beloved grandmothers, Effie, around on weekends. I say “around” because Effie, who called me "Puddles”, never bothered to tell me where I was to be driving her. Instead, once in the car, she would perch her dainty little self forward and alert in her seat peering ahead like a sea captain and give turn-by-turn directions until we reached her destination. On this one spring Saturday during my mystery ride it began to rain. My 1951 Pre AC or defogger-equipped Plymouth’s swipe and smear blades combined with the fog on the inside of the two piece flat glass windshield, all standard driving hazards for the time, were no match for the day’s downpour. I was busy blindly feeling for the road, wiping at a constantly re-fogging and ever-small peek hole thru the windshield with one hand, steering with whatever elbow or knee that was handy and shifting gears and attempting to clear Effie’s side of the windshield with another hand. After a few humid blocks of the madness, she turned to me and in an exasperated tone said, ”Puddles, I can’t see a thing, your just going to have to do the best you can”. I replied, “That’s Ok, can you tell me where we’re going. She puffed her special sweet puff and said, " I never tried to go there in the rain, If I knew it was going to rain I wouldn’t have ask you to take me there in the first place” Trying to be tactful in hope for an informative answer I ask “Where is there”? She exhaled another little puff and replied cheerfully “Never mind Puddles that’s alright, lets just go back home, I’ll make you a cup of coffee” We were not far that from her treasured old home and so today’s “mystery ride” turned out to be one more special addition to my list of fond memories. Besides, this particular adventure turned out much better than a few Saturdays ago when she ask me to crawl under her 100 year old house to spray for bugs and spiders. That was the Saturday she (accidentally?) locked me up and forgot about me for most of the rest of the afternoon while she went into the house and carried on many long telephone conversations. To add to my crawl space discomfort, whenever I banged on the floor to get attention I could hear her proclaim proudly and excitedly to whomever she was talking to at the time “Goodness, that Puddles is such a good worker. It sounds like he’s working real hard killing all those bugs and spiders.”

I think of Effie often, especially when I fondly remember those who no longer wander among us. There is no doubt about it; we all have our challenges and problems. But at the same time, we can’t forget that it the challenges and the later “fun” as we recollect meeting our challenges head on that keeps us going.

Friday the 13th , and what makes me remember F13's

I find myself alone again on a Friday 13th. This F13 happens to be April 13, 2007, two days before the last chance to file income US taxes as well as the (I think?) final day to put money into an IRA for last year.
I have found that F13's, or any other day is usually what we make of them. Making today a positive F13 is largely because of a statement Arnold Swartzenager made this morning when he was ask if it upset him because he could not run for president of the US due to the rule that says one must be born a citizen. His anser (in my words) "I don't concentrate on what I cannot do, I concentrate on what I can do"'. That said, I cannot spell, I cannot figure how to use the blogger spellchecker, my grammer is not good, BUT, I can blog, so blog is what I'm gonna do today.
Anyway, the market seems to be up for a Friday because of what I percieve as a last day buying frenzy supply & demand surge. Every years question, should I have sold today ?..we will see Monday ....but the day is not over yet.
I try not to be superstitious about F13's, but it is hard not to be. I always wonder what unforgettable event may happen today that I can blame on todays influence.... but the day is not over yet.
An unforgettable F13 event is one that happen at the Reno Nevada air races the year after 9-11. I re-ran into a race pilot over 2,000 miles and 15 years from our first meeting , Bob (I think) Rose, in the Reno air race hanger. I think he had the same, or at least the same kind of airplane, which was fast and sort of different in design. He loved that airplane and defended any critical comments agresively. To get to the point, I had already seen about all the air racing I wanted during the week, so instead of staying at the races that Friday, I went on a tour bus trip. When I got back late that afternoon and went to the hanger I found roses of a different kind. It was then that I discovered that Rose had been killed when his plane crashed. Seeing flowers in his space instead of he and his plane burned a permanent ediatic (?) image into my whole body.
Another event that affected only a body part was when I was selling real estate. I had a listing that I could not prove to to be exclusive, and my for sale sign kept "falling down" . On the last day of my listing, an F13 of course, I stopped by to re-hang the sign and to again try to relist the property. Why it was not already relisted is another dull story. While I was re nailing the sign, a competitors car drove up the driveway and when I turned to look I hammered my thumb into a purple plum. SO!..on that F13 my thumb became a plum, my listing "expired", a competitor sold the property, I lost a $10,000 commision, my child support was behind, the lawyer I hired to get my commission was sick and so all did not end happily or did it become a "Paul Harvey rest of the story" event.
A few years before that, I "got fired" by a state govener on a F13. It started when I was on a property inspection. There was a note on the property card that I ignored that said that the property owner was "irritable". I should have paid attention to that note! I knocked on the door, I young person ansered and I gave my short spiel, handed him my card, and started my inspection. That inspection was interupted by the horrerifying glare from a shining shovel heading my way from in front of a glaring pair of giant wild blue eyes flashing above a broken red circle of mouth and lips edged with wildly white and huge jagged teeth. I ran. I put my car in drive. I continued to run even as I drove.
When I got to the field office everyone was laughing. They knew. It was funny for them and sort of for me, but it wasn't over. When I got back to the home office, there was my boss standing at the door. That wild woman had called directly to the state govenor and reported me by name. What turned out bad for me was that my state business card and ID was from the proper state but my car licence tag was was from out of state. I was immediatly fired on the spot and marched to the court house to change my car tags with only moments to spare before being re hired.
That all for this F13.............but....... the day is not over yet.